i make plans; god laughs.

This year I have successfully given up a lot of things. Meat (except for seafood), fried foods (except, yes, for the occasional blue corn chip and bang bang shrimp), and beer (or any alcohol other than wine and vodka – with water).

Okay, SO THERE ARE A LOT OF EXCEPTIONS! But did you see the main BIG things? Meat, fried foods, and beer? HELLO. I LIVE IN THE SOUTH. That is a lot!

Shortly into 2012 I realized that the absence of these things had caused an overindulgence of something else. And no, that something else was not wine. It was, as the French call it, chocolate. Er, perhaps that isn’t French.

So I had this great idea for Lent this year. Generally I have a tendency to give up 5 things and/or gain a few (like working out or not using inappropriate language) and then slowly, over the course of 40 days, I whittle away at those until there’s nothing left. I’ll stop working out, yell “shit!” when I realize it, eat a candy bar to comfort myself, and wash it all down with a beer. Happy Easter!

This year, though, I decided that I really needed to put myself to the test. First I thought to give up chocolate. Then I thought I could one up myself and give up sweets altogether. And here I am. One week later and not an m&m heavier.

Last night I was sitting on the couch with Mom and she looked at me and said, “What’re you not eating? Can you have dessert?” And I told her only if it was fruit or something of that variety. She offered me a fudgsicle. And, by the grace of God, I declined it!

Then, this morning, after I’d finished a run and was getting ready to head to the office, I loitered in the kitchen, stuck a banana in my purse, and found a cracker I’d never had before and tossed it in my mouth to try.

Behold: DELICIOUSNESS.

When I went to tell Mom bye as I walked out the door I told her what I’d done and her response was, “You know those are cookies, right?”

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