Lately I’ve been trying really hard to find my sunshine. I realized a couple of weeks ago that I was overwhelmed. With the thoughts swirling in my head, with all of the things I wanted to accomplish, with just so much, unnecessarily.
After spending this past weekend with Jenna and successfully crossing something off of both of our bucket lists, I thought it might be time to stop being so hard on myself.
To add to that, I’ve come to the recent conclusion that sometimes, unexpectedly, the things and people you thought at one time were the very best for you can, without ever really realizing it, cause you the most harm. I’ve been holding myself to the standard(s) of my friends and when I haven’t been conjuring up a single description of myself I sought – by my boyfriend or my parents or my peers – I felt like a failure.
So this week I found myself retreating to a happy place of television shows I’d long awaited and books I’d left untouched. (Premiere week helped that in a big way.)
Months ago – back in November, to be exact – when Travis and I had first started dating, we left 5 Points and my roommate’s birthday party and walked to his car. When we got in my happy song was on and I, with no concern as to his thoughts at all, danced. And danced and danced and danced. And this boy, who I hadn’t known long at all, just sat there watching me. For I was happy.