aaaaaaand i’m back.

I feel as though that’s what crazy Michelle from The Bachelor is bound to say when the camera crews for ABC find her slashing tires in the parking lot. I mean, it’s an eventuality that they have bound to already come to grips with. That bitch is cray cray. And THAT IS PUTTING IT MILDLY. All I’m sayin’ is … I just do NOT get the cray cray.

In fact, they might should consider renaming The Bachelor “Cray Cray.” Everyone would be saying, “What? What does that mean?” And it would be about like the conversation I had with my mom the other day when she asked me what a babe was.

Me: “A chick. A girl.”

Mom: “I just want to find it on Google and see what Google calls it. But I can’t find it.”

Me: “Why won’t you listen to me? A babe is a girl.”

Mom: “Why can’t I find that on Google?”

Me: (Sigh.) “Mom, you remember what Urban Dictionary is?”

Mom: “Yes.”

Me: “Go to urbandictionary.com and search for babe.”

Mom: (After a moment.) “Ooooh. Exactly. Here it is.”

Raise your hand if your mom has looked things up on Urban Dictionary. More than once. Alrighty then.

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