Aside from Brother Will and Brother Daniel and Sister Katie, there are my other siblings: Diet Dr. Pepper, Soy Chai Tea, Target, J.Crew, and Anthropologie, to name a few. And just the same as I drive to Greenville to visit Brother Will and Sister Katie (and J.Crew) and to Charleston to visit Brother Daniel (and J.Crew), I must make plans to visit my other family members. I mean, relationships cannot sustain on the internet alone.
So Saturday we ventured to Charlotte (and sadly not to the Earth Day Music Festy in Ashevegas) so that I might spend some quality time with Anthropologie. And it was there I saw it. The Landing Fields Skirt of my dreams. At first I panicked at the size two-ness of it. And then I tried it on and screamed aloud in the dressing room, “Goodbye fast food, fried food, and meat forever! This shit fits!”
In celebration of this revelation, upon returning home I decided to drink vodka sodas at a very fast pace, contrary to the desires of my empty stomach. Though the details remain fuzzy, I am pretty sure that evening I danced with the 4th Jonas Brother, Zack Efron.
And so, though it seems rather redundant to say, vodka and I will be divorcing. Or, perhaps the more politically correct expression is entering into a period of trial separation. Because I don’t doubt that we will try to work out our differences on Saturday night.