i write my own wrinkles.

Jennifer Aniston was recently quoted in Harper’s Bazaar (May | 2010) as having said the following when questioned about botox:

“I could do it, and I mean these lines are getting deeper every day, but when I tell you what’s happened to me – these lines are just about living. Look, I eat really well and I work out, but I also indulge when I want to. I don’t starve myself in an extremist way. You’re not taking away my coffee or my dairy or my glass of wine because I’d be devastated. My advice: just stop eating shit every day.”

This sentiment could be a DIRECT quote from my very own mother. Minus the use of the word shit. I’d like to think she’d say crap, but she doesn’t use that word either. Maybe she’d go with “unhealthy foods” or “fried foods” or something that she looks down on equally as much like Diet Dr. Pepper because, you know, one time (and, well, many more times to follow) she actually suggested I give up Diet Dr. Pepper. For my health and all. When she first said that it was without provocation and in the context of suggesting things I should give up for my New Year’s Resolution. Well folks, if I’m ever in a bad mood (like some – including myself – would argue I have been this week) please suggest I quit drinking Diet Dr. Pepper. I will laugh and laugh and then I will probably drink two Diet Dr. Peppers just because I’m thirsty and I have a headache from laughing so damn much. And – OH MY GOD – what if one day they decide that Diet Dr. Pepper is the cigarette smoking of my generation and want to tax it just so the government can get more money from me. And the Senate sits there and debates it all day long like they’re doing today on cigarette tax amendments and they’ll say things to the school children that come to visit and stare down from the balcony like, “Don’t you ever grow up to be Diet Dr. Pepper drinkers,” and this one little kid will be up there looking at their little friends and saying quietly, “Yea, my mom. She’s a DDP addict.”

And all the while my mom will be saying, “I could get botox like all my friends but I wear my wrinkles proudly because they’re signs that I’ve lived my life. But, Kristin, my advice: just stop drinking Diet Dr. Pepper every day.”

So one day I’m just gonna look back at her when she says that and say no thanks. Because you see this wrinkle? It’s Diet Dr. Pepper. But this one is John Mayer and this one is Gerard Butler and this one is that one time I wore a dress that wasn’t black and every body and their mama wanted to write about it. And oh yea, this one is that time I got all worked up about the possibility of a Diet Dr. Pepper tax. SO THERE.

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2 thoughts on “i write my own wrinkles.

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